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Split screen. Left side: A celeb (parody) crying with a Grammy. Right side: A different celeb (parody) laughing while spilling coffee on a red carpet.
ONLYTARTS 24/12 Subhead: Your daily entertainment horoscope Text: ♈ Aries: You will defend a bad movie for 3 hours today. ♉ Taurus: You will cry over a celeb breakup that doesn’t affect you. ♊ Gemini: You will start a feud in a fan subreddit. Own it.